Is your Christmas list incomplete? Have you already purchased all the logical, sensible gifts but still have your beer-swilling, burping Uncle Steve to shop for? Well, Miller Lite has you covered. Introducing Beernaments, the plastic orb that can hold an 8 oz. can of beer to hang on your poor, unsuspecting Christmas Tree. For only $19.75, you receive six Miller Lite logoed orbs that you must dissemble and fashion around cans of beer like a set of impractical beer cozies. If this is a gift, I guess you replace the beered orbs in the box and drop them on Uncle Steve’s lap. Grab a towel for when he opens those suckers up. Why do you have to do the assembly, you ask? Because the beer is not included. You must supply the beer. So, I guess it’s the honor code that’s you’ve inserted a Miller Lite in the orb. I mean, what would Steve know if you switch his Miller with, say, an 8 oz. Bud Light Lime-A-Rita?
Christmastime just became Miller Time, thanks to Miller Lite.
Makers of the popular brew are getting into the holiday spirit this season by introducing Beernaments, drinkable ornaments sure to brighten up any Miller Lite-drinker’s Christmas tree.
Beernaments give any tree a pop with their winter white color, circular design, and Miller Lite logo. Packaged in sets of six, the palm-sized balls snap snugly around 8 oz. cans of one’s favorite fine pilsner.
Once enjoyed, Miller Lite’s Beernaments can be hung on Christmas trees by simply using the can’s tab (and an ornament hook).
For sale now at Beernaments.com, the limited edition offering costs $19.75.
Here’s the only downside: beer cans are sold separately.
When CB and I were first talking about this, I thought the ornament was a can itself. So the idea was novel, but I worried about storage because aluminum dents so easily. The fact that this is just a plastic cover eliminates that worry, but places this in the WTH category. Is anyone other than a frat house buying this? Just from a practicality perspective, these are a nightmare. A six pack of 8 oz. beer cans will weigh the branches down. Your tree will look tired! Don’t make me feel sorry for your tree. And they hang from the tab, which means you have to crack the beer to hang it. So it has to be drunk right after hanging or someone getting a flat beer from Santa Tree. Once it’s drunk, you’d need to wash the can out thoroughly or your Christmas tree will be filled with Christmas ants. And since the person who’s washing them just drank a six pack of Beernaments, they probably didn’t let them dry thoroughly and now the tree smells like old beer mold. But sure, grab yourself some Beernaments. Oh wait, you can’t – they’re sold out.
Miller got Jimmy O. Yang to do the ads for these holiday treasures. He appeared with Nina Dobrev in Love Hard that CB discussed yesterday. I am very glad I did not see him promoting these Beer Balls before I saw Love Hard, it would have made it harder to root for him.
Photo credit: Instagram