Rejection, humiliation, loneliness, sadness: Whether it’s from death, divorce, or an unwanted breakup, a broken heart is one of the worst things you will go through. But know this unbearable feeling won’t last forever. While healing is not linear – everyone heals in different ways and at their own pace – healing is possible. Sadly, there is no magic cure for a broken heart, but the following ideas may help to get you on the mend and ready to look for love again.
The Path to Heal a Broken Heart
1. Feel your feelings and grieve.
You loved and lost, so it’s only natural to experience grief. Let yourself feel sad. Cry. Eat chocolate. Listen to Celine Dion. Watch “When Harry Met Sally” in a continuous loop. Just let it all out. Don’t run away from your feelings because it will just prolong the healing. Be open to reflection. Let yourself have thoughts about your ex, then let them go and let your emotions flow. Even if it was your choice to leave the relationship, heartbreak can be a true source of emotional and even physical pain. Don’t rush it; giving yourself time to process that it’s over is critical.
2. Reach out for support.
It’s essential to find a healthy way to deal with your emotions. While you may be tempted to isolate, don’t. Let others know what you are going through. It’s okay to express your needs, so reach out to family, a trusted friend, or even a therapist. Let others be there for you because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there at some point in our lives and understand what you are going through all too well.
3. Set boundaries.
Fight those heart-broken urges to communicate with your ex post-breakup – it will only make things worse. Getting over heartbreak is nearly impossible if you are still in touch with the person you are grieving. Delete their name from your contacts, block their social media, and for the love of God, stop texting. The no-contact rule works!
4. Focus on yourself.
Take an inventory of what you like about yourself. Revisit those things that brought you joy before your relationship. Come up with self-affirmations that resonate with you. Meditate. Do yoga. A spa day – whatever it is that speaks to you. By focusing on your physical and mental health, you can find your way back to joy.
5. Get moving.
Research shows that exercise, with its physical and mental health benefits, can help people cope with grief after losing a loved one by reducing feelings of stress, sadness, lethargy, and anxiety. It’s a healthy outlet that can create a sense of freedom and personal control while providing a distraction and escape from a broken heart.
I know, I know, you’ve heard it a million times. But that’s because it works. Writing down your feelings can help you process your emotions, and getting your words on paper will help to get them out of your head.
7. Write a letter to your ex… but don’t send it!
Alas, I’ve written a lot of these letters. And if martinis were present, I sent a few as well. DON’T. You will regret it in the morning. This isn’t about drama. It isn’t about engaging or reconnecting, which would only draw things out further. It’s just a therapeutic way to express your emotions and anger. It’s a way to say what you want to say to him but can’t. In short, it’s a way to call him out on all the crap he put you through and get the emotional toxins out of your body – before folding it up and sticking it away, deleting it, or throwing it in the trash.
8. Close the door on closure.
“I just want closure.” Sound familiar? Well, don’t wait around for it because it’s not coming. The relationship is over. Accept it. Get the closure you need… from yourself. Your closure comes from within and, like everything else with a broken heart, takes time. Use this time to reflect on why the relationship didn’t work. Get to know yourself better – the you without the him. Closure is what you give to yourself, and it’s the only type worth waiting for and the only one worth wanting.
9. Distract yourself.
Yes, you want to feel your feelings, but you don’t want to sit around in your pajamas moping all day and eating Ben & Jerry’s from the container. Try to keep your brain occupied. Pick up a new hobby, take that pasta-making class, or better yet, go to Italy. You don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself. You’re single again, and you’re free. The world is yours for the taking!
10. Let go of the past.
Stop remembering and romanticizing the good times. It will only make things harder. Avoid that favorite restaurant. Change the channel on that song that played when he first kissed you. Don’t watch the TV show the two of you loved to binge… And for the love of God, lose the photo album. Ultimately, you will come to accept that your relationship just wasn’t meant to be. Realize this is a new beginning. Go places you’ve never been. Meet new people. Have new adventures. Move on! You never know what or who lies just around the corner.